The fantastic
is a funny thing, and never easily measured. Christopher Moore is keenly
aware of this and uses it to his advantage in 'You Suck', his sequel
to 1995's 'Bloodsucking
Fiends'. The oddities of our world yield easily
to the oddities of the next in Moore's novel. Compared the romance of
'Bloodsucking Fiends' (such as it is), 'You Suck' is sort of like a morning
after. The charm of the vampires themselves has worn off, but Moore brings
a teenager to rescue the reader as well as the vampires. Yes, this is
the sort of vampire novel where vampires need rescuing, and that should
be your clue that this is not an ordinary vampire novel.
The fact that Moore can set his day-after sequel to a book published
twelve years ago in the current day without a hiccough in the reader's
perception stands as a tribute to his writing skills. He's canny enough
to strip away the details that might date the book but leave in those
that ground it and make it real. Jody's turned Tommy into a vampire,
inspiring the opening exclamation that also functions as the title. Tommy
and Jody are in a passel of trouble. The cops think they’re leaving,
but they haven't. Tommy's turkey-bowling buddies have hared off to Las
Vegas with the dough they got from the elder vampire Elijah's yacht,
but they've blown it all on a hooker painted Blue who comes back to town
with them to drain the last dregs of their ill-gotten gains. Elijah the
ancient vampire may be down, but he's not out. Not yet.
The shit doesn't hit the fan, but just about everything else does in
the mayhem that follows. Moore handles his characters fairly well, but
there are some off-putting bits. Up till now, he's seemed to genuinely
like everyone he wrote about, but the hooker who calls herself Blue,
for good reason, is a strangely perfect fit for the "hope you die
sooner rather than later" award. In a book where characters can
die and come back to life, that's a problem. Moreover, readers will experience
a true frisson of fantastic delight and dislocation when they realize
that the actions of the Animals, Tommy's turkey-bowling Safeway pals,
seem less believable than vampires in San Francisco. Sorry, but I don’t
see even the stupidest stoners blowing half a mil on a hooker. But as
if to atone for the sin of making the Animals yield to plot requirements,
Moore introduces us to perhaps his best character yet, Abby Normal. To
read her is to know her and to know her is to love her. She's a goth
teenager and a friend of Lily, who works for Charlie from 'A Dirty Job'.
We get to know Abby by virtue of her diaries, written by Moore in the
first person. Who know Christopher Moore had an alter ego as a sixteen
year-old goth grrl? But she's indisputably the highlight of the novel.
Moore's story in 'You Suck' is once again pretty slight, but certainly
there's enough sound and fury going on here to keep the reader glued
to the pages – when that is, the prose voice of Abby Normal isn’t
doing the job all on its lonesome. Once you get past the half-mil problem,
things in the real world work out as believably as those in the next.
Once of the strengths of this book is Moore's ability to work in all
the characters we liked from 'A Dirty Job' and 'Bloodsucking Fiends'
in a manner that is pretty damn satisfying. We even get a scene from
'A Dirty Job' replayed via the perspective of Jody. Neat.
The writing here is lively as ever. Moore knows precisely how thickly
he can lard the text with the word "fuck" and not wear out
the laughs. He can get into the voices of his characters, from Tommy
the teenager vampire to Jody the twenty-something vampire bitch to The
Emperor of San Francisco, the homeless man who manages to ground the
novel and provide the closest thing to an even keel you’re going
to find.
Most readers of Moore are in it for the laughs, and there are plenty
of those to be found in 'You Suck'. Sure, there's a great feeling that
comes with carrying around a book titled 'You Suck'; you’re going
to get lots of comments. But beyond that, Moore delivers an effective
sequel and a totally entertaining new character whom we hope to see and
hear from in future sequels. Though he makes a pretty big mess of things,
letting all manner of mayhem loose, he also manages to fix things up
in a manner consistent with the wacky rules of his world. Abby Normal
balances out the unpleasant and sort-of unbelievable Blue. Welcome to
Christopher Moore country. Vampires – real. Hookers – not
so much. But either will drain your life's blood if you don’t watch
out. Only one, however, can bring you back from the dead.